Well, shit. It's over.
It's such a horrible feeling.
I haven't posted a book review in years, but after reading and rereading the Throne of Glass series multiple times over the last five years, I had to write one more.
I tossed around a few potential titles...
Aaron's Last Wyrd, perhaps.
Maybe, Book Blogger - To Whatever End!
I like, One More For Maas.
But, as you can see, I went with something that really shows all those agents I've been querying how damn creative I am
I've been nervous to write this review, unsure of myself. I thought about getting a hundred other bloggers to hold my hand while I try. Or I could have asked someone to just straight up write it for me. Or at least parts?
But I figured that would make me just like Aelin trying to defeat the Erawan and Maeve.
Look, I LOVE the series. I love it. It changed my life. I hope one day to have a tiny scrap of Sara's writing ability. She's Queen. I love her. I love that I picked up Throne of Glass off the bookshelf because of the cover, and had no idea how it would grow to be a story I obsessed over. I even bought ToG stickers online and covered my laptop with them. I wanted everyone to see who my allegiance was with. I also wanted another superfan to see it and be like, "OHMYGOD!! I love that book, too!" And then, maybe (probably not), I'd make a new friend.
Most of this post is going to be rather whiny. And I'm not sorry. I invested so many hours, probably like 100,000 into reading this series (I'm a slow reader). and I wanted to finish it out with a feeling of overwhelming satisfaction.
But I didn't.
There were moments of utter freaking out, and moments of crying, and moments of pure excitement. But there were so many moments of frustration, and questioning, and confusion. At the end, I was left bothered by a number of things.
It's possible that I simply had too many expectations. Or that I just didn't get it. I know I'm not the brightest star in the sky...maybe I missed important details. Idon'tknowwhatever
So here we go...
- At least 300 pages could have been cut out. Like, OMG.
- ALL the characters from the Southern Continent (except Yrene since she was in Assassin's Blade) were annoying as fuck. If you weren't there for the first few thousand pages of the series and show up right before the end, you don't get to play a major role in the final book!!!! UGH.
-The shapeshifter uncle dude. No. I don't care about you either. Go away.
- I love including characters from Assassin's Blade. They have history with Aelin. They all played a part in forming the woman she became. But all these characters from...fuck, I don't even know. I think they're all Fae??? And I'm not talking about Dorian's pals like Lorcan and Gavriel. I legit was reading and thinking, "Who the ever-loving-fuck is this??" THAT shouldn't be happening in the final book!
- I felt like something more should have happened with Aedion. He would have been a good character to kill off. Especially since he was stripped of his title. He should have gone apeshit and done something to turn the war, showing that he never needed the title - he will always be the General. Or something...
- The supervillain spiders from another dimension! Did they miss their bus to the portal?
- When did Rolfe lose his "I don't give a shit who you are" attitude. He turned into Mr. Boring.
- Aelin and Nox were never reunited. Did I miss that??
- Chaol's dad? Pointless.
-Erawan turned out to be...no biggie. He legit played into Aelin's taunting and walked into a trap like he was dumber than the dude that orders a Big Mac at Burger King. Like, what??? Voldemort versus Erawan? Voldy, hands down. Erawan versus Splinter? Splinter, with a bit of help from Leonardo. Erawan versus a good poker player? The poker player. Erawan versus one of the basic Smurfs who you don't know the name of? Erawan!
-Dorian's dad showing up was a total shock that made my heart pound, but the opportunity to surprise the shit out of readers with a "Snape" moment was missed. It should have been revealed that Dorian's dad was fighting the entire time under Erawan's control...fighting to build up his magic for the day he'd have a chance to save his son. Or something...anything. Then Dorian's dad could of showed up when he did, explained everything, and sacrificed himself to form the lock so that Aelin and Dorian could return with their full magic and blast the mess out of EVERYONE. Instead, he kinda did some of that, and Aelin and Dorian were left with baby magic. Ultimately, Dorian's dad, the King of Ardalan, could have been the secret badass you never suspected.
I know, I know...I'm just making up my own shit now. But still, that would have been SO much better. And then, we would have had a kick ass Aelin for the rest of the book and not our hero having to pretend she's powerful.
-You know that scene (my absolute FAVORITE scene in the entire series) in Heir of Fire when Celaena brought the motherfucking shit to Maeve?
THAT is what I expected x a billion in Kingdom of Ash. I wanted to see Aelin GO OFF on the battlefield at just the right time. She should have throttled Erawan and Maeve into oblivion. It should have been the most emotional moment of the entire series. Her entire journey, her love for her home and her people, all that she'd been through...for that one triumphant moment. Every memory of being whipped, and locked in a box, and tortured...it should have all fueled her dominance.
Look, Aelin did plenty. But so did Dorian, and Yrene, and Rowan, and...and...all those other characters. Team effort! That's awesome in real life, but not in stories about the Fire-breathing Bitch Queen (which didn't make into the final book?!), Aelin should have been the ONE.
-Poor Chaol. I'm still so confused about his character. So confused. Chaol was a huge missed opportunity. The Little Folk played a bigger role in KoA than Chaol. For all he went through, he should have been allowed to do something at the end. I mean, He and Aelin were perfect. I think what's really bothering me about Chaol, is my last point...
-The final battle should have been Aelin, Dorian, and Chaol, kicking Erawan's ass. No question. This is the biggest letdown for me. I just...ugh. It's THEIR story. It always was. Not just Aelin.
Imagine those final scenes of Deathly Hallows not revolving around Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Instead, it's Hagrid, some random house elf, and a remorseful Draco Malfoy standing outside of a crumpled and broken Hogwarts for the final scene.
Okay, whatever. I'm not gonna get over it. I loved the series. I loved this final book. I just got hung up on some stuff because I expected so much. I feel like I could go on and on and on.
The ToG series is neck and neck with Harry Potter for my fav all-time series.
I still can't believe Asterin died. Probably my fav character, with a rich, emotional backstory. And the way she punched Manon in the gut and said, "Live," is etched in my mind forever. I completely lost it at the coffee shop when I read that part. Chapter 89 can go fuck itself.
I'm still considering a ToG tattoo.
I love you, SJM.